It feels like the podcast has come a long way from when I sat down and recorded for the first time. I truly did not think I would ever do anything other than solo episodes. Then I decided to be a guest on Johanna Hunt’s, “The Unfiltered Life” podcast and that opened up a door of opportunity I didn’t realize I even wanted. I was so nervous during that interview with Johanna. I didn’t even use my recording equipment to improve the quality of the audio (something I think obsessively about now). I felt like I stumbled my way through speaking (though Johanna reassures me that I did better than I thought) and had mild anxiety that entire day. It’s uncomfortable to step outside of our comfort zones, especially by putting ourselves out to the world in such a vulnerable way since some people aren’t so nice.
This makes me think of John. I remember when he and I first started dating, I noticed something about him that I really liked. It’s still to this day one of the things I love most about him. For those who know John, they know that he is funny. He has a charisma about him which pairs well with his humor which oftentimes results in him being the center of attention. He thrives in social settings and has friends to spare. The thing about his humor, and the thing I love so much, is what I believe to be a rare quality. The ability to be funny without making it at the expense of someone else. It’s just purely funny and everyone can appreciate it because no one has to feel like the brunt of the joke.
Recognizing this quality in him allowed me to reflect quite a bit about the social psychology of my own circle of people, and society at large. I realized that the majority of people rely on criticism, poking fun, and downright being mean, in their attempts at humor. I witnessed this very thing just the other day when a mother, her teenage daughter, and her younger son were waiting behind me in line at the drugstore. The teenage girl said something mean about her brother, which her mother responded to with disapproval. The teenage girl admitted that she was “trying to be funny”, to which the mother replied, “it’s really not funny”.
It’s really no wonder that so many people associate cruel comments with humor; just look at standup comedy. So many standup comedians rely on putting people down to get a good laugh from the audience. The defense is, that those are the things that people relate to, which is where the humor is born. I probably would have agreed with that more if my husband wasn’t naturally funny without the need to belittle or degrade people. I wish there were more people with that ability, but then again, it is one of the things that made me fall in love with John because it was endearing and rare quality.
Somehow knowing that people are “trying to be funny”, eases the sting a little bit for me. I realize that the intention is for laughter, and laughter is a good thing. I would prefer to be the brunt of the joke, than someone else because I feel like I can see it from that standpoint and not take offense. People like to make other people laugh; that feels good, and I want people to do what feels good. Which is why the negative reviews I received on TikTok didn’t phase me one bit.
To be completely honest, seeing negative reviews made me happy. Putting a spotlight on your career means embracing the negativity from those who don’t know how to express themselves without being cruel. It comes with the territory and it allowed me to realize that my reach is expanding beyond those who know me personally. I recognized the attempted humor in many of the cruel comments. It takes a great deal of courage to share who you are with the world and be vulnerable and open to connecting with others. Those who want the connection but lack the courage to do it in a vulnerable, “this is who I really am” way, instead ride the coattails of those who are being aligned with their true selves. Commenters desperately want to be accepted and liked which results in them falling back on what they have learned to be “funny” so that others can respond to them with laughter, which feels good.
John has taught me what good humor really looks like and I feel so blessed to have that kind of influence so close to me. I laugh so much with him and he never cuts me down in doing so. I always feel elevated as he brings forth the laughter from my soul, and I never get tired of it. Thanks to him, I was able to analyze others who do rely on cruelty to get the laughs they desire from others. My understanding of the world and the way we treat each other when getting what we want, has expanded and allowed me to respond to those cruel comedians with grace and acceptance.